I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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