He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize