It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize