another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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