I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
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Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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