is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize