I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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