I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize