If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize