i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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