I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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