SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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