then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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