my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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