Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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