"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize