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are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
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