...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i will never coherently bang her
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize