dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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