We named our party play list daddy issues
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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