i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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