Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize