She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
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I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
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Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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