The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
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It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
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Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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