It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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