dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize