I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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