I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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