butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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