Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize