im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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