She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize