can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
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I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
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My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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