Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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