it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize