i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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