We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize