we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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