I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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