4 words: hood of his car
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize