I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize