She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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