It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
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so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
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I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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