if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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