I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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