end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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