That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize