I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
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I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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