we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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