Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize